You teach and train your children for from birth, looking forward to the day when they graduate from high school and enter adulthood. Well, maybe not looking forward to that day so much. Maybe you are like me and you want the years to last a little longer as they fly by.

Still you know that all you do in raising and educating your children is for that eventual day when they fly out of the nest and take their place in the world. You pray for their future mates and children, looking forward to meeting your grandchildren one day. You worry, even though you know you shouldn't. You imagine and daydream about what they will be like and long to see them walk uprightly with God all the days of their lives.

It has given me great joy to graduate three daughters and to watch countless friends graduate their own children. What are these children up to? Let me introduce you to some high school grads.

My oldest daughter, Katie Beth, graduated from high school at age 16 and commuted for four years to Stetson University. As a National Merit Finalist, she could have lived on campus with her scholarship, but instead chose to drive back and forth each day so that she could stay connected to our family and to the church. She won numerous awards in her four years of college and was the outstanding senior in both of her majors, English and Spanish. Katie Beth spent a semester in Mexico her junior year, her first time away from home. After college, she worked as an editor for Harcourt for a year and then went back for her master’s degree. Right now, she is teaching freshman English at the University of Central Florida. She is still living at home and is involved in ministry at our church.

Katie Beth found that the most difficult part of college was the intense animosity toward the Lord and His Word. She found herself having to stay on her toes, being ready to defend The Truth and share her personal testimony. She found that knowing the Word of God and reading Understanding the Times helped her so much to be ready to give an answer when one could be given. Sometimes she felt lonely, especially when she saw other Christians surrender their trust in Jesus and accept the lies of the world. RIght now Katie Beth is teaching two classes of Freshman English at UCF--what a great opportunity to serve the Lord and reach out to college students!

Julianna went to Stetson University and majored in Accounting and Information Systems. She works in the Health Care Information Systems field at Aon Hewitt. During her college years, she completed a summer internship with a Christian Financial Planning Ministry, which she loved. She has a passion to help people make wise financial choices and to line up their money management practices with the Word of God. Julianna also chose to commute, rather than live on campus and managed to combine school work, school fun, ministry, and family life in an amazing juggling act. Right now, she leads a LIFE group and sings on the worship team.

They were the best of times, they were the worst of times! 

College years are so exciting with friendships, opportunities to meet new people from all over the world, and the thrill of learning and growing. But, college can be stressful--those exams and papers! I have three people living in my house right now who are attending college. The end of the semester is crunch time around here, and sometimes stressful. 

But, my kids are successful in college! They make good grades, share their faith, and build strong friendships. Mike and I managed to not just survive college years, but to thrive! How can you be successful in college? Here are some tips that work for our family!

Put Christ First

When the pressure of crunch time comes--a paper is due, an exam is on the horizon--don't neglect your relationship with God. More important than your GPA and keeping your scholarship, walking in the favor of the Lord must take high priority. 

My daughter, Jenny Rose, sets Saturday aside for the Lord (we happen to meet on Saturday right now because we don't have our own church building). She prays, reads the Bible, encourages her friends, practices with the worship team, goes to sound check, and sings on the worship team at church. She realizes that this means losing an entire day that could be devoted to studies, but she doesn't care. She knows the truth, life goes better when you put Jesus and His Kingdom first.

Work Hard

If you are in college, school is your job. Learning is your vocation. Be excellent at it. Don't just try to "get by" or "pass the class." Make up your mind to be excellent at all you do. Set aside time to study and treat those times as if you are heading off to work. Be diligent. 

Zack is working two jobs and going to school. Some weeks the only time I see him is at LIFE group and at church. He works hard writing papers, doing projects, and studying for exams. Yes, he misses out on some fun things and will have to wait until the end of the semester to see certain movies, but Zack knows the truth: All Hard Work Brings a Profit!

Know Your Professors

Every instructor has preferences and expectations that are different from every other professor. Learn about your  professor's teaching style and expectations by reading the syllabus and paying close attention in class during the first few weeks of the semester. Ask questions if you are unsure of what his/her requirements. 

Go see your professor during office hours when they are available. My oldest daughter teaches English at UCF and she loves for students to ask for help or just come by to chat during office hours. One on one conversations will help you clarify information. Professors are happy to help students with difficult concepts or assignments.   

Take Assignments One Phase at a Time

Last time in Where to Invest Your Money - Part 1, we discussed investing in the Kingdom of God, your dreams, other people, and a home business. This time, we're going to talk about literal investments and where to place our money so it can grow.

Invest in Stocks

My grandparents invested in stocks and lived off stock dividends when they retired. My father  invested in some unknown companies in his younger years: Intel, Microsoft, and Home Depot. Those investments carried large returns for my parents.

Purchasing stock in a company is like buying a tiny part of the company. If the company is successful, you will get a portion of the profits in the form of dividends. Ideally, you want to buy low and sell high for short term. But even better, invest in stable companies for the long haul.

When you invest in stocks, you can go online to buy stocks directly or you can purchase them through a stockbroker. Either way, you will pay a small commission fee. Your stock portfolio (collection of stocks) should contain a variety of stocks from different business sectors. My portfolio contains oil, pharmaceuticals, technology, electric companies, retail, and transportation. I prefer good, solid companies, or new companies that hold promise for the future.

Many factors affect the price of stocks: health of the company, political events, economic events, catastrophic events, and the market itself. When the company is making a profit, it might put all its profits back into the company or give generous dividends to its investors. Most companies do a little of both. But, don't invest money in stocks that you cannot afford to lose because investing in stocks is risky, especially in today's economy.

Invest in Bonds

When you purchase a bond, you are loaning money to a business, city government, or federal government. The city you live in may want to build a sports stadium so they sell municipal bonds to its citizens. When you purchase one, your city will pay you back by the due date on the bond, or earlier.

U.S. Savings Bonds finance the federal debt. When you purchase a U.S. Savings Bond, you lend money to the United States federal government. The interest that you see in the federal budget goes to pay bondholders the interest promised them when they bought the bond.

If a company declares bankruptcy, bondholders lose when the company defaults on the loan. Bonds that have a high probability of default are called junk bonds and are very speculative investments.

Invest in Gold

What comes to your mind when you think about teaching your teen to write an essay? Panic? The dreaded SAT essay or college entrance essay? Confidence?

If peace and confidence did not come to your mind then I hope to change that by the end of this article. We have already covered the basics of teaching teens to write in Teach Teens to Write and writing paragraphs and reports in Teach Teens to Write Paragraphs and Teach Teens to Write Reports. Now, it's onto essays.

Essays

Essays bring almost as much fear to students and their parents as research papers do. But essays are actually more fun to write than reports because while reports are factual, essays allow students to share both facts and feelings. The essay writer is able to express more of himself in his paper.

An essay is a short work of non-fiction that presents the author's view on a single topic. A good essay has a "grabber" opening paragraph, a body (with as many paragraphs as are needed to communicate effectively about the topic, and an effective closing paragraph.

As I have mentioned in the other writing articles, the more time you spending in intellectual discussion with your teen, the better prepared your teen will be to communicate on paper. This is especially true of essay writing.

Read Essays

Many teens have never read a good essay, so before you ask him to write his own essay, give him some good essays to read. Newspaper editorial pages are a good place to find examples, especially of persuasive essays. Here are some of my favorite collections of essays: Federalist Papers, Anti-Federalist Papers, God in Dock by CS Lewis, and The Complete Essays of Mark Twain. You can also find GK Chesterton's essays on-line at GK Chesterton's Works on the Web. Dive into these essays with your teenager. Read some aloud together and talk about what makes these essays so good. You also might want to let your son or daughter read older siblings essays or your old essays from college.

Topic & Audience

You might want to review Teach Teens to Write and Teach Teens to Write Paragraphs before we get started.

Reports are made up of several paragraphs that work together, informing the reader on a topic of interest. Teens write reports in science, history, Bible, and other classes. Often academic in nature, they should still be enjoyable to read. Your teens learns about a topic and shares the information in a report. My teens enjoy writing reports on other countries, historical figures, and Bible topics.

The first step in writing a report is to choose a topic, research that topic, and then narrow the topic down small enough to be the subject of the report. The biggest mistake students make is to choose a subject that is too broad. A narrow subject makes for a focused, interesting report that doesn't ramble all over the place.

Research

Why is it that we complain about our husbands, children, and homeschooling? Why do we struggle to be content? Why do we love the idea of homeschooling, but have days where we hate educating our little ones?

The answer to these questions is not simplistic, but we do need to address these issues in our lives because this behavior grieves the Spirit of God and hinders successful home education.

A joyful mom instills delight in her child for acquiring knowledge and wisdom. We cannot foster a lifelong love of learning if we are not filled with the joy that Jesus brings.

But, we face joy-stealers every day from traffic jams to weight gain.
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Living in a Fallen World

Imagine if Adam and Eve had never eaten the forbidden fruit. Think about your world without the results of sin. Clear blue skies (no rain!), peaceful communication between people and nations, perfect weight, perfect self-control, joy, love, patience, and constant fellowship with the Lord. Your world would have no pollution, no traffic jams, no wrinkles, no worries, no death, no illness, no headaches, no difficult people, and no clutter.

You were created to live in a perfect world. Just because the world (including each of us!) is in a fallen state doesn't mean that there isn't a longing inside our hearts to live in that perfect world for which we were created. The fallen world with its headaches and heartaches never feels quite right.

"Things should go smoothly," we insist and we are right. The world would look a lot different in its natural state. This causes constant turmoil within us. When I understood this, freedom came because I no longer berated myself for frustration. Instead, I turned the longing for perfection toward the perfect place I will one day live in:  Heaven!

Longing for Heaven

"I need to buy a new pair of shoes," I whispered to my friend, Laura.

After several negative events in my life, the most recent had been the final straw. I was feeling discouraged, sad and angry. But, I knew that shopping would make me feel better. Or, at least I thought it would make me feel better.

The dangerous thing about shopping is that it can make you feel good, just as eating chocolate can cause a lift in your emotions. However, this is a temporary feeling. A compulsive shopper experiences this emotional lift over and over until they crave it. Eventually, shopping becomes addictive and cause problems in personal finances, which can lead to marriage problems and other relational break downs.

This is how shopping becomes compulsive, and before we know it, we cannot stop spending money even when we want to. Maybe you are compulsive in small ways. Maybe you have to shop at certain times, for specific items, or during crisis situations.

Coping with Compulsive Spending

There are several things that you can do to control your compulsive spending.

• Get rid of your credit cards and use cash only
• Keep track of all your spending and try to figure out why you spend when you do
• Avoid temptation
• Understand the real reasons behind why you shop.

 
Why You Spend

The problem with plans to cope with compulsive spending is that it doesn't deal with root of the problem. Compulsive spending is an addiction. Like all addictions, they are so hard to break free from because they seem to have a life of their own.

Addictions help to dull pain, usually emotional pain. Whether it's drug abuse, pornography or shopping, an addict finds temporary relief from pain by indulging in the addiction.

Jesus, the Bondage Breaker

She prefers documentaries to television shows and thinks that her children do too!

At holidays, while everyone else is decorating and baking, she is researching the origins of the holiday, how the holiday was celebrated in Colonial America, and turning her family celebration into a unit study.

Even though she never took Latin in school, she thinks all children should take at least one year. 

At election time, she asks, "Where does the candidate stand on homeschooling?"

Sneak back into her house. There are burn marks on the kitchen ceiling (chemistry experiments!), stains on her counters (art projects!), rips in her carpeting (sewing class!), and stains on the tablecloth (biology dissections!).

Buying a pet becomes a unit study.

She doesn't have time to read a novel or magazine, but spends hours pouring over homeschooling curriculum catalogs.

When she goes on vacation, she might forget to pack her shoes or her child's clothing, but she remembers to pack an extra-large suitcase full of classic literature for the kids to read when they tire of swimming, sight-seeing, playing games, and relaxing. She also wants to visit museums on vacation. She is convinced that everyone else in the family loves museums. Or, at least they should.

Her overdue library book fine equals the National Debt.

"Have you finished typing your paper, Shine?" I asked yesterday.

"Almost..." she replied sheepishly. 

I looked over at the computer to see her Facebook page filling the screen.

"I'll exit out," she offered quickly.

"You're grounded from the computer for the rest of the day," I admonished.

Wisely, Shine said nothing in reply.

In the last few years, homeschooling teenagers has taken on a whole new set of problems in our house. Internet has been around for a long time, but never really affected us too much until the last few years. There have been times that my children have opted to "research" on the internet, rather than using the books and resources we have checked out from the library.  But the real culprit in our house has been Facebook. My teenagers love it.  All their friends love it and have pages too. I have a Facebook profile myself and have enjoyed finding old high school friends and keeping in touch with distant family members. But, these online communities can be addictive and consuming. Can any of you moms say “Amen”?

Yesterday & Today

Back in my day, we talked on the phone for hours on end. My teens prefer texting, which I like because it saves minutes. Yes, as a teenager, I spent time on the phone with friends having conversations my parents could not hear, but Facebook takes it to a whole new level. Why do teens love these places online? Well, teens have always wanted to connect with other teens with a great desire to build relationships and to feel close to others. Plus, there is that build in "radar" for attractive members of the opposite sex. No matter how godly your daughter or son is, they will notice when a handsome boy/pretty girl walks into the room.

Facebook is a large social network on the internet. Your child has a profile page where she posts notes, pictures, and personal information. Yes, these pages can be made private so that only his "friends" can see them. But, here is the important thing to keep in mind:  Who are all these people your child is adding as friends? Are they really who they say they are? Predators are a huge problem online, but this article is not about that! (I'm not dismissing predators as a huge, scary problem, just not tackling it today.)

Profile Pages

Profile pages give children the opportunity to put their best foot forward with the prettiest pictures, exaggerations about accomplishments, and all kinds of "little white lies" meant to impress. Friends add friends of friends and give access to their personal information to young people they don't even know. I'm sure if they met these young guys and gals in person, they would be shocked to find out who these people really are...rather than the image portrayed on their page.

"All my money is gone," my friend moaned, rubbing his hands over his face as if to erase the pain of the dreadful reality he was facing.

"All of it?" I asked with a little bit of trepidation. He was the father of four children and the husband of a very pregnant wife. I was mentally trying to fit them into our already filled household so that they would not end up on the street. Was this just a matter of God not providing on their behalf or was this a demonic attack?

There was an awkward silence that followed which I finally broke.

"What happened to all that money?" I asked the thirty-two year old man in front of me. My question caused tears to stream down his face and I felt terrible asking.

"I don't know. I just don't know."

Tim's Story

Here is what happened. Tim had been in a car accident, had to stop working, and ended up foreclosing on his house. HIs wife worked for awhile, but was soon pregnant again with complications that required her to stay home. But God did not forget this young family. The insurance company gave Tim a sizable settlement that was five times the amount of money he made in a year. Six months later, it was all gone and they were back in the same situation they found themselves six months after his accident. If you could have been a mouse in Tim's pocket, you would have watched the money eek out toward bills, vacations, needed clothing, needed medical expenses, and many items that Tim had always dreamed of owning (cars, computers, sound equipment, video camera, and a motorcycle).

Was Tim experiencing bad luck? Did TIm just lack wisdom with money? Had God abandoned him? Was there sin in his life that the Lord was punishing?

My immediate suspicion was a spirit of poverty. What? A spirit of poverty? Yes. Let me explain.

Patterns of Poverty

Upon investigation, I found that a pattern emerged in Tim's life. Whenever there was a large financial gift or windfall of money, it always completely disappeared. It was often spent on "necessities" or things that Tim just couldn't live without. When the money was gone, many of the items purchased ended up breaking, being lost, or sold. It seemed to be a pattern that after the money was gone, there was nothing to show for it!

Walt's Story

Walt was a completely different story. He had an ability to make wealth. Whenever he came across a little extra money, he put it aside and let it grow. When there was enough, he would invest in something with the money. Walt started businesses, bought homes, and sent his kids to college debt-free. He never made a truckload of money, but he managed it well.

Often, I could only imagine what Walt could have done with Tim's money (the insurance settlement, several inheritances, and many large tax refunds). Why did it seem to take so much more money to keep Tim afloat than it did Walt, and, at a lower standard of living?

The Monkey on our Backs

Another wonderful Christmas. It all went so quickly. Instead of flying home to California, Aisha was with us for the holidays. We enjoyed having her in Florida and appreciated her family lending her to us.

We had our usual traditions: decorating the house and tree together as a family, Christmas devotions, traveling dinner, and festive Christmas dinner. Everything was delicious and fun.

Best of all, everyone was off from school, college, and work. We enjoyed full days together without meetings or very many responsibilities. It was so nice to relax with my children.