Love is in the air! St. Valentine's Day has just been celebrated and all the chocolate in pink and red wrappers in 50% off. My favorite time of year! Pink and chocolate combined...at a great deal! The roses are still lovely, gracing the dining room table. Heart shaped cards are on the buffet, a reminder of being loved by my family.

Love is an emotion that wells up inside my heart when I watch my children sleeping, see them win an award, listen to them. or hear them talk about the Lord. So often, I am proud of them, not just for their achievements, but for who they are and who they are becoming.

Love, of course, is more than an emotion; love is a choice to do good for someone else at cost to your own personal comfort. Love is all about the other person, giving them your best, trusting God to take care of your own needs. We are commanded by God to love one another deeply from our hearts, to seek their good, to lay down our lives, to care about their interests, to honor them above ourselves.

So, we experience love as a daily decision and we experience love as a delightful emotion.

But, of course, there are those times, when it is hard to sing the songs of love and devotion, when I must cry out to the Lord....

Teach me to love when my son walks around the house in his socks, wearing them out and getting them filthy dirty, after telling him at least 877 times to put his socks on or go barefoot. After all, we live in Florida. We really don't need to wear socks and shoes.

The stores are filled with hearts, chocolate, and roses in every shade of pink and red imaginable. As a lover of pink, chocolate and roses, this just may be my favorite time of year to shop!  It's St. Valentines Day! Yes, St. Valentine's Day--I know that sounds a little odd to your ears. When I was a little girl, that's what we called it. But in recent years, as all holidays are secularized and materialized more and more, St. Valentine's Day became Valentine's Day. 

Who was St. Valentine and why do we celebrate love on the day we've set aside to remember him?  Valentine was a priest who lived in Rome during the reign of Emporer Claudius. He was know for his kindness and selfless love. He was arrested for his faith and imprisoned, but managed to send and receive letters from his friends and fellow Christians. Emporer Claudius tried to convert him to Roman paganism to spare his life, but Valentine shared the Gospel with the emporer instead. Before he was martyred for his faith in Jesus, he healed the eyes of his jailor's blind daughter.  

In the Late Middle Ages, when courtly love and romance became the rage throughout Europe, St. Valentine's Day became associated with love and romance. Both romantic love and Christian martyrdom are things to celebrate.  St. Valentine stands in the "great cloud of witnesses," in Hebrews 12, cheering us on! St. Valentine's Day can be celebrated in either direction, or both directions. We can celebrate the romantic love we share with our sweethearts or we can remember those who have given their lives for the Gospel of Christ.

If we are celebrating St. Valentine's Day with our sweetie, there are many options.  He, of course, can buy us a dozen long-stemmed roses and a big box of Godiva chocolate.  We can go out to a lovely dinner and gaze into each other's eyes.  But, of course, those things cost money.  So, what are some inexpensive ways to celebrate the romance you share with your husband?  Here are some things Mike and I have done:

• Pack china, crystal goblets, a tasty lunch, and sparkling grape juice. Go on a picnic in a pretty spot.  Bring a beautiful comforter to sit on and be careful with the china and crystal!
• Buy a package of Valentines for children.  Write little notes to your husband on each one and hide them throughout the house.  Make most easy to find, but hide some so that they won't be found until later
• Make a CD of romantic songs and dance outside on the patio in the moonlight
• Make a scrapbook of your relationship from its conception until now. Look at it together. 

• Tell your children how you met, how your husband proposed, and other fun stories. Your children will love this!
• Wait until the children are in bed and have a romantic dinner by candlelight ALONE!
• Read old love letters out loud to each other!

"When do you want to go home?" I asked my almost-college grad daughter, Julianna.

"Mom, we just got here," she chided.

"It's freezing, Julianna," her best friend, Marla backed me up.

But, Julianna was determined. It was the first day of spring break and she wanted to ENJOY the beach. Hah! It was chilly and windy. But, I had promised to go, so I slid my sweat pants down to my bathing suit. Immediately, goose bumps rose and I felt chilled to the bone. I grabbed a winter blanket and cuddled inside of it, wondering why Christians have to keep their word anyway.

The hours dragged on unmercifully until it was time to leave. Now, keep in mind, the beach is my very favorite place on earth and had I been wearing a parka that day, I would have enjoyed myself. But, timing is everything.

In homeschooling, timing is everything too. Just like Julianna tried to rush summer fun ahead of schedule, we can rush into teaching subjects ahead of our children's time table. Children are unique and learn at different times and paces.

When to Start Formal Education

 Katie Beth, my oldest daughter, was ready to learn her to read at the age of 4. How did I know. Well, I copied pictures of each of the letters from the phonics program I intended to use and hung them on the wall in the dining room of our small seminary apartment. I made paper, scissors, glue, markers, crayons, and other art supplies available for her in a large drawer in the china cabinet. When she began to copy the letters on her own and ask to write her name, I knew that interest was there.

I had been reading aloud to her several times a day and she loved to pretend to read books to her dolls. We started a fun phonics program that involved learning phonics rules through songs.

Another daughter was not ready to learn to read until the age of 6, almost 7. I tried a couple of times to start reading instruction and she was just not ready. But when she was finally ready, it went smoothly.

The Early Years

The early years of childhood are the perfect time to prepare children for a lifetime of enthusiastic learning. Reading well-written, beautifully illustrated storybooks aloud, picnics at the park, and playground fun can fill your days. All the things mothers do naturally: teaching animal sounds, make up silly rhymes, singing songs together, and talking to children about family history introduce your little ones to learning in a fun way. Baking together, cleaning together, setting the table together, and shopping together introduce educational concepts to your sons and daughters. You can stop and look at leaves, bugs, flowers, and small critters when you go on natures walks. Or bring along a sketch pad and fill it with your discoveries.

Don't rush this time or turn learning into hard work. Enjoy living life together with your family, knowing they are learning so much in their memory-making moments with you. There will be plenty of time for formal education in the future. Fill the preschool years with precious memories that last a lifetime.

Your Child's Pace

The Bible has something to say about all of life, including government and economics. God is our provider and boss. All authority and power resides with God. We ignore God's authority at our own peril.

"Then Jesus came to them and said,"All authority in Heaven and on earth belongs to me," (Matthew 28:18 NIV (c)1984).

God also owns everything in world and all who live in it.

"The earth is the Lord's and everything in it; the world and all who live in it," (Psalm 24:1 NIV (c)1984).

Stewardship

God then delegates authority, responsibility, and wealth to people and institutions. What? Well, let me explain. God is the owner of everything and we are His stewards. We take care of His property for Him. The best biblical illustration of this is the parable that Jesus told in Matthew 24:45-51 where the master of the household puts a servant in charge of his household, possessions, and other servants while he goes away on a trip. When the master comes home, he will reward or penalize the servant based on the servant's care of others and behavior.

God places us in charge of his people and possessions. We are his stewards, accountable to him for the job we do in caring for what is entrusted to us.

Economic Stewardship

I love meeting moms who have raised godly children who are raising godly children. You see, I want to learn from women who have done it right and have good fruit to show for it. I also love meeting moms who are funny and spunky.

So, for me, reviewing this book was not like other reviews because I got to meet a happy, energetic mom who has run the race and is now enjoying her grandchildren. Her daughter is carrying on the principles her mother lived by and heartily endorsing them.

Secret Cody Time: Creating an Unbreakable Bond between Parent and Child by Sky McNeill and Paula Stevenson is a book about relationships. This lovely book is not just for homeschooling families. Any parent that wants to forge a close relationship with his/her child will appreciate this book.

Secret Code Time is written by Paula and Sky, a mother/daughter team who believe in the relational principles of Secret Code Time and practice what they preach. Well written and engaging, the book is 142 pages long. Not a long book to get through. You will enjoy all the photographs through the pages of the authors and their family. The book itself looks lovely and would make a great gift for another homeschooling mom for birthday or Christmas.

When Sky was a baby, Paula purposed in her heart to begin building a lifetime friendship with her daughter. The foundation of the this relationship is loving communication.

When Sky needed to talk to Paula, she would say, "Secret Code Time 305." Paula would drop everything. Sky was able to say anything she wanted without fear of punishment, reprimand, or any other reprisals. Sky could talk to Paula about anything, any place, any time.

This established complete trust as the foundation of their mother/daughter relationship. They remained close through the middle and high school years. Today, they remain dear friends and Sky has continued this tradition with her own children.

Paula did instruct, encourage, and help Sky walk through issues in her life with Biblical principles, but Secret Code Time was simply a time that Sky could share her thoughts and feelings freely.

Another relationship builder was a weekly date with Mom and a weekly date with Dad. Though Paula admits that weekly dates would be impossible with large families, she does encourage monthly dates instead for parents of many children. Paula did everything she could to make these dates special by dressing up, going some place fun, and even shopping for special treats.

Paula began these all these habits with Sky when she was a very young child and calls it "Advanced Parenting." She set the stage early in life for Sky to know that she was valued and loved unconditionally.

What about Boys?

While some boys are great talkers, willing to share their emotions with Mom and Dad, others would rather visit the dentist than share their feelings. So, can this work with boys too?

There is advice given to help with boys who are more active and less likely to want to sit and chat. Recommendations include throwing the football together or engaging in an active pastime together first. But, the authors believe that Secret Code Time is just as important for boys as it is for girls.

Does the Book Talk about Anything Else?

"There is just so much to cover this year!  How can I get it all done?" has been asked of me more times than I can count. 

  My favorite subjects to teach are music and history!  What fun we have had exploring these subjects over the years. But I have found that it is important to "major on the majors" and "minor on the minors."

There are subjects and then there are tools and skills that are needed to learn all subjects.  When we give our children the tools of learning, they can explore every subject to their heart's content. 

After homeschooling for 21 years with a sixth, eighth, and eleventh grader still being educated at home, I have found that there are seven things (7 R's) that make a big difference in the success of our family's homeschool.  From Kindergarten through twelfth grade, I try to keep these things predominant in my homeschooling: relationships, rhetoric, reading, (w)riting, (a)rithmetic, research, and right living.  I weave them in to all that I teach or that our family explores through unit studies. These are not the only subjects in our homeschool curriculum, but they are the ones that get priority.

Relationships

Lives are changed in the context of relationships!  People, including your children, hunger and seek to be loved and understood.  The security that comes with healthy relationships allows people to learn and grow, reaching their full potential and destiny. 

The most important relationship that your child will ever have is his/her relationship with the Lord. Let your little ones see how much you love the Lord, especially by setting aside time each day to spend in prayer and Bible reading. Be committed to church, tithing, obedience, and serving because you love Jesus with all your heart.  Teach your children to have a relationship with Him too!

Children (and adults too!) want to model people they admire and trust, especially if they believe those people have their best interest at heart. When your child enjoys a healthy relationship with you, he/she is more likely to try to imitate your life, as well as attempt to please you!  This desire to please parents is present in almost all children, but ebbs away in teenage years if the relationship does not remain strong.

Rhetoric (verbal communication)

Rhetoric refers to communication both written and oral, but I'll use it to refer to verbal communication from casual conversations to formal speeches. 

Casual conversation, questions, and answers are the beginning of education for young children. "Why is the sky blue," your toddler asks you and prattles on with more questions.  From the time your little ones can talk, engage them in conversation. "Did you like the pretty pictures in the book?" you might ask after you finish reading them a book.  "What was your favorite part of our day," you query as you and your toddler set the table.  Don't shoo children away--talk to them about everything!  Speaking requires thought processes that stimulate intellectual growth! Ask questions and answer them!  Put down what you're doing if you need to and give your child undivided attention. But learn to talk with your child as you wash dishes, run errands, and cook dinner.

Before formal speeches, give your children plenty of practice reading the Bible, stories, and poetry aloud.  Encourage expression, inflection, and enthusiasm in the presentation. It is a great idea for older siblings to read to younger siblings, especially for the three years after they've learned to read. 

Eventually you will graduate to speaking in front of people to formal speeches to debate.

Reading

Listening to well-written beautifully illustrated story books make toddlers and pre-schoolers look forward to the day that they will read for themselves. As Christians, what joy there is in reading and obeying the Word of God!  No matter what career they choose or lifestyle they live, we all want our children to be Bible readers, understanding everything the Lord has to teach them. Reading is a necessary skill for growing in your walk with the Lord!

Phonics is the method I have used to teach all my children to read (Sing, Spell, Read, and Write) and they have all learned in about a year's time. The goal was to get them reading!  My son was less enthusiastic about reading then all his older sisters, so I had to "make him read."  I had to search for books he liked.  The "Three Cousins Detective" series and "Childhood of Famous Americans" were both series that he enjoyed, so I bought every book I could find in the series. 

To foster a love for reading, I allow the children to choose the books the want to read within parameters.  I have book lists for various ages (feel free to download these lists:  http://joyfulandsuccessfulhomeschooling.com/readinglists.aspx ) that are based on my actual bookshelves. 

Reading aloud is fun to do together as a family or with only one child at a time. We love reading aloud and snuggling. Reading and speaking lay the foundation for writing.

'Riting

Writing concretely, concisely, and graciously is the goal of Understanding Writing, the writing curriculum I have used through the years. Written by a homeschool mom, she stresses writing to glorify God. We have added poetry, stories, journalizing, and other fun writing assignment to our writing lessons over the years. 

Reading good writing and expressing yourself clearly through speaking set children up to write well. You need both to lay the foundation a writer needs. 

Start with sentences. A sentence has five things. (noun, verb, complete thought, begins with a capital letter, and ends with a period, question mark, or exclamation point) Teach your children to examine their sentences for these five things.  Once that is down, help them to write clearly. Teach them to use adjectives and adverbs to express themselves and to avoid clutter words such as very, a lot, and really.

The next step is paragraphs. My children write a paragraph once a week from second grade until sixth grade.  Sometimes they write longer papers, but they always at least write a paragraph, I correct it, and then they rewrite it. Re-writing should be part 2 of every writing assignment. A good writer always rewrites! Don't be negative about it, though. Praise their papers and then move on to the next part of the assignment--making their paper better!

'Rithmetic

"We are going out to Outback for dinner tonight," Sue mentioned cheerfully while we were working in the nursery together one Sunday morning.

I must have had a surprised look on my face because she quickly added, "We just got our tax return."

I pinched my lips together. Mike and I had done several financial counseling sessions with Sue, and her husband, Bob. They were constantly spending more money than they had, landing in debt to creditors and family members. Each year, I watched their tax return disappear in days, always going toward things I would consider frivolous.

But, how people spend their tax return is their own business, isn't it?

Maybe not. How we spend our money is always God's business. So how can we honor the Lord by how we spend our tax return?

 How should I spend my tax return?

 Your tax return should be spend as prayerfully and carefuly as you spend the rest of your income. This is money you have paid the government, or your employor has paid the government for you, not a windfall of free money. As with all tthings financial, your tax return belongs to the Lord.

Should I tithe from my tax return?

That depends on whether you tithe from your gross or net income. Your gross income is the money you make before the U.S. government takes its cut through taxes. Net income is your income after taxes are paid. If you are self-employed, you are more likely to tithe from your gross income before you pay your taxes. The return you get has already been tithed from, but you might give an offering.

If you work for a company, you probably don't even see your gross income because the company pays the taxes you owe to the government before they write your paycheck. If you tithe from your net income, then you should tithe from your tax refund.

Should I pay off debt with my tax return?

This is a great way to spend your tax return. If you don't need to use this money to pay bills, you should pay off debt with your tax refund. You can throw a large chunk of money at debt, making a huge difference toward the process of becoming debt-free. If you are paying a mortgage on your home, consider putting some or all of your tax refund toward paying off you house. For many Christians, a mortgage is their only debt. What a great way to work toward being completely debt-free.

If your refund check is large enough, you may be able to elimiate an entire debt such as an old medical bill or school loan.