We try to go through our house each year before the school year starts and clean out the clutter in our home school room. If you are like me, your home is full of piles of papers, stacks of books, and a wide variety of every type of clutter possible to exist. Loved ones comfort me: "Your home is lived in." I smile, knowing the truth--my house is a mess right now!

Once the clutter is taken care of, I can take a deep breath and get back to work. Clutter makes me feel oppressed and a tidy house makes me feel productive and energetic.

I notice that my house is not the only thing that gets full of clutter. My email inbox can fill with clutter. My purse can accumulate all kinds of mess. My car can look like a locker room floor sometimes.

But, the worst clutter of all, is the clutter that builds up in my heart. It can damage my relationships and keep me from homeschooling effectively.

Clutter in our Hearts

What can build up in our hearts that is so damaging to our lives and homeschooling? Well, women can tend to be savers. We are so sentimental. We save cards, notes, letters, movie tickets, newspaper clippings, and recipes. But, we can also hold on to hurts, anger, resentments, negative words, and memories of negative episodes in our lives. We remember something our husband did or said on our honeymoon (15 years ago!) or the Mother's Day that our son said, "I wish I had a different mommy." We take these things out from yesterday and examine them closely, remembering how they hurt and experiencing more pain from them today.

We remember failures too. Our own failures are etched in stone, along with our husband's failures which we often build a shrine to, keeping them alive forever. We remember mistakes our children have made and can label our children based on these mess-ups.

"We are a sarcastic family," "None of us can control our tempers," or "This house is full of lazy pigs," are all things I have heard homeschooling moms say. Our words reveal the clutter in our hearts. I would rather hear moms say, "We are learning to be kind," "Our family is growing in anger management," and "We are learning to be tidy!" Now, that may sound silly to you, but how we view our family affects how we homeschool our children.

Clutter Check-List

There is one person in our life that we seem to spend lots of money on. Sometimes we don't even realize how much money we spend on her. We don't like to think of ourselves spending so much on that person, but we do. If you want to grow in godliness, stop spending so much money on yourself! There, I said it.

Without realizing it, we think about things we want and need, laying our plans to purchase these things now or later. We are bombarded with messages from advertising on television, at the movies, in the mall, in the newspaper, on billboards when we drive, and from the people we love who know exactly what we "need." Somehow our mind gets wrapped around the idea that buying lots of stuff will make us happy, take away the pain in our lives, help us to become more organized, or help people to love us more. We know, of course, that stuff won't make us happy, but we are bombarded with the lie so often that we start to believe it.

Secret Stuff Area

We each have a secret stuff area. That is the area where we really believe that purchasing items of that kind will make us happy. My secret stuff area is shoes...it is just amazing how quickly a new pair of shoes can brighten up my day. Flowers, chocolate, clothes, music, CDs, DVDs, jewelry, electronic equipment, bling, designer purses, software, or accessories might be your secret stuff area. Maybe it is not so secret. Maybe it is more than one area...you just love to buy stuff for yourself.

We kid ourselves into thinking that the money we spend is all on others, but if you are honest and list everything you spend, you will find that you purchase all kinds of things for yourself. You might buy snacks, drinks, new clothes, comfort foods, music, books, or accessories on impulse when you are out shopping for the family or running errands. We don't think about it, but it adds up.

The Real Issue

The money we spend on ourselves isn't the most important thing, but rather the preoccupation with making ourselves happy and feeding our appetites. Greed, the desire for more stuff, is an appetite. When we feed it with little snacks (a bag of Combos or a bestseller at the check-out line), we are feeding the appetite of greed. What do we really need? How much do we really need? Can we wait to purchase this item later? How much more stuff does God really want us to have?

I'm not trying to sound harsh, but spending money on ourselves reveals the self-centered nature that is needing to be sanctified by the Holy Spirit. Another thing that reveals this selfish attitude is how unhappy we become when we cannot have what we want because our finances are tight. Is this really how a Christian lady should live and manage her money? How we spend our money reveals our heart and our priorities.

Examine Your Heart