"When I am really, really old," Nathan began to explain, his blue eyes sparkling and a big smile on his face.
"How old is really, really old, Nathan?" I interrupted him.
"Oh, like," Nathan paused and tilted his head up, squinting his eyes. "Like 25 or something." Smile.
In five days I will turn 50. I can't believe it. Where did time go? I still feel like a little girl inside who is staring wide-eyed at the world, ready to explore every nook and meet people from every corner of the globe.
Yes, I have learned some valuable lessons along the way, but I am sure I have made more mistakes than wise decisions. I have stumbled and gotten back up, running on and on toward the goal of my life.
The goal of my life, since I was sixteen, has been running hard after Jesus, and finally making it home, to my real home, Heaven. I do long for Heaven and I love it here on earth. Yet, I really want this life on earth to be lived well.
So here I am at half time, knowing that I have less years to live then I have already lived. It's a weird feeling. My grandmother lived to 101, but I'm not sure I will live that long. I might. Or the Lord could take me home tomorrow.
It is time to heed the advice of Moses in Psalm 90. "Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." 30 years left, or maybe 50. How do I want to live? What do I want to do differently? It is time to examine my heart, my life, my goals.
There are, of course, some things I want to keep on doing--stay married; homeschool the last two children through their high school graduation; keep leading worship (but raise up people to take my place); continue to mentor ladies through speaking, teaching, and writing; and enjoy my family and friends.
But, I want to make some changes, to learn from past mistakes and failures, to be wiser in my fifties than I was in my forties.
Merey (Meredith Ludwig Curtis)