Jesus Saved Me, Healed Me, & Gave Me Eternal Life!
It was a dark, stormy night...really. I was driving home from a track meet with two friends and my dear sister. My little yellow rabbit began to skid on the slippery road. At sixteen, with my limited driving experience. I panicked and slammed on the breaks.That was the wrong thing to do. My car began to hydroplane. Within seconds, I realized that I was about to fly through the windshield. Without thinking, without any time to warn my passengers, I placed my arm up in front of my face for protection. Then it went black.
There had been a hunger for God stirring up in my heart for months. I had two Christian friends who were bananas about Jesus! (We actually said "bananas" in the 1970's) We also had a new Episcopal priest at our church that encouraged us to read the Bible, lift our hands in worship, and to "give our hearts to the Lord." Fr. Hobbs created quite a stir among the "Frozen Chosen" at Holy Sacrament Episcopal Church.
God was always part of my life in the background. We attended church regularly and were part of a warm, loving church family. My parents were wonderful and made me feel valuable, important, and full of potential. Memories come back to me....Dolls lined up in imaginary pews with the toy box as an altar. I pretended to be a deaconess passing out bread and iced tea for communion. Then I sang and sang and sang. Always, God was associated with singing, music, and a happy heart.
There had been a hunger for God stirring up in my heart for months. I had two Christian friends who were bananas about Jesus! (We actually said "bananas" in the 1970's) We also had a new Episcopal priest at our church that encouraged us to read the Bible, lift our hands in worship, and to "give our hearts to the Lord." Fr. Hobbs created quite a stir among the "Frozen Chosen" at Holy Sacrament Episcopal Church.
God was always part of my life in the background. We attended church regularly and were part of a warm, loving church family. My parents were wonderful and made me feel valuable, important, and full of potential. Memories come back to me....Dolls lined up in imaginary pews with the toy box as an altar. I pretended to be a deaconess passing out bread and iced tea for communion. Then I sang and sang and sang. Always, God was associated with singing, music, and a happy heart.
Growing Up with Singing!
Singing was also associated with happiness and security. My mom sang, "Well, we ain't got a barrel of money and some say we're ragged and funny, but we'll travel along...." on the way to the grocery store (my children know the song too!). We sang movie songs and made up silly songs to make each other laugh. As a young teenager, I was able to join an adult traveling choir, the Tilted Halos. we were on the cutting edge back then with a huge 9 foot bass, trumpets, tambourines, keyboards (!), and drums. We sang folk songs, updated hymns, and brand new Contemporary Christian music This left an impression on my heart forever.
As a teenager, I listened to the radio constantly with the words to every single song memorized. My friends and I would head to the beach every Saturday with our "boom box" blasting all day. Teen years were a blur of fun and friendship mixed in with typical insecurities and foolish thinking. I investigated the New Age Movement, Buddhism, Transcendental Meditation, yoga, reincarnation, and hypnosis. The Bible was a book of fairy tales to me and "Born Again" Christians were not very intelligent, in my book.
As a teenager, I listened to the radio constantly with the words to every single song memorized. My friends and I would head to the beach every Saturday with our "boom box" blasting all day. Teen years were a blur of fun and friendship mixed in with typical insecurities and foolish thinking. I investigated the New Age Movement, Buddhism, Transcendental Meditation, yoga, reincarnation, and hypnosis. The Bible was a book of fairy tales to me and "Born Again" Christians were not very intelligent, in my book.
In Bad Shape
Though there was a desire to know God, I really wanted to create Him in my image, or my thoughts of who God should be. I rejected the Bible as the Word of God and saw it as a "nice book." I also rejected hell and salvation through Jesus alone. I was an evangelist's nightmare with my pride, arrogance, and love of arguing.
I woke up in the ICU of Pembroke Pines General Hospital, or was it the emergency room? I remember bursts of consciousness. Someone telling me to breathe slowly and not get up--that must have been on the side of the road where I landed after flying through the air over four lanes of traffic. I felt like I was drowning and kept trying to get up, while people held me down. I would find out later that the drowning sensation because I had punctured one lung and perforated the other. I remember a nice male voice telling me that he had to cut away my clothing to get me on the stretcher. He told me later that I said to him, "Cut anything you want, just don't cut my hair." I guess that reveals more than anything the state of my heart.
I woke up in the ICU of Pembroke Pines General Hospital, or was it the emergency room? I remember bursts of consciousness. Someone telling me to breathe slowly and not get up--that must have been on the side of the road where I landed after flying through the air over four lanes of traffic. I felt like I was drowning and kept trying to get up, while people held me down. I would find out later that the drowning sensation because I had punctured one lung and perforated the other. I remember a nice male voice telling me that he had to cut away my clothing to get me on the stretcher. He told me later that I said to him, "Cut anything you want, just don't cut my hair." I guess that reveals more than anything the state of my heart.
Surrender to Christ!
The next twenty-four hours were a blur of faces, unfamiliar faces, always trying to wake me up. I just wanted to sleep and have the pain go away. Many bones and organs were broken, damaged, or crushed. Doctors told my parents that I might not ever be able to walk again or be able to carry children (my pelvis was crushed into little pieces). One of my doctors (I had 13!) was a Christian and he prayed every day for my healing, along with my parents, family, and friends. There were two surgeries in those first few days to remove all the glass embedded in my legs. Years later, they would find more glass and I would have yet another surgery.
I kept asking after my friends, Kathy and Jenny, and my sister, Julie. Julie broke her toe and Kathy sustained a fractured rib. Though shaken up, they were quick to forgive me. "Jenny is in a coma." I was told over and over. Her parents came to see me every day when I was in the hospital for the entire month. It wasn't long before I realize that everyone was trying to protect me from the truth: the accident had been fatal. God had taken Jenny home. Jenny had been in a coma for several hours, but had not lived.
Guilt, sorrow, and devastation washed over me. Jenny had been one of my dearest friends. She had been supportive, kind, and affirming. What would I do without her? Oh, I missed her. And I had taken her life because I was driving the car. I should have died, not Jenny. God had made a mistake. Why did He take her and let me live? I saw myself as responsible, destroying a precious young woman. Though no charges were filed by the police and Jenny's parents lavished me with love, grace, and immediate forgiveness, I could not shake the condemnation. For the first time in my life, I saw what God had always known, that I was a sinner in need of forgiveness.
I kept asking after my friends, Kathy and Jenny, and my sister, Julie. Julie broke her toe and Kathy sustained a fractured rib. Though shaken up, they were quick to forgive me. "Jenny is in a coma." I was told over and over. Her parents came to see me every day when I was in the hospital for the entire month. It wasn't long before I realize that everyone was trying to protect me from the truth: the accident had been fatal. God had taken Jenny home. Jenny had been in a coma for several hours, but had not lived.
Guilt, sorrow, and devastation washed over me. Jenny had been one of my dearest friends. She had been supportive, kind, and affirming. What would I do without her? Oh, I missed her. And I had taken her life because I was driving the car. I should have died, not Jenny. God had made a mistake. Why did He take her and let me live? I saw myself as responsible, destroying a precious young woman. Though no charges were filed by the police and Jenny's parents lavished me with love, grace, and immediate forgiveness, I could not shake the condemnation. For the first time in my life, I saw what God had always known, that I was a sinner in need of forgiveness.
New Faith in Jesus!
The next several days are a blur of emotional and physical pain. There were several surgeries, excruciating pain, sorrow, and guilt over Jenny's death. I had seen, for the first time ever, myself as a sinner running my own life in my own way. Lying alone in the early morning hours in ICU, I would have given anything for the agony in my body and heart to subside. Suddenly, it hit me. Jesus chose pain. He had chosen to take on the sins of the entire world (emotional pain, unmatched by my own) and He had chosen the cruelest form of death, crucifixion on a Roman cross. I was overwhelmed by His love and grace. There were no words to express this revelation of Jesus. I just lay there amazed, dumbfounded. In Him, was my only hope. So, I gave my sinful, broken heart and shattered body to Jesus.
Again, I was visited by several of my doctors with my parents present. They wanted to make it clear that they would do everything they could to help me. They assured my parents and me that I would survive, but were not sure if I could walk again or be able to have children. Possibly, I might be able to have children if I stayed on bed rest and had a caesarean section. From somewhere deep inside, faith sprang up in my heart and I blurted out, "God will heal me and I'll have lots of babies with natural childbirth."
Again, I was visited by several of my doctors with my parents present. They wanted to make it clear that they would do everything they could to help me. They assured my parents and me that I would survive, but were not sure if I could walk again or be able to have children. Possibly, I might be able to have children if I stayed on bed rest and had a caesarean section. From somewhere deep inside, faith sprang up in my heart and I blurted out, "God will heal me and I'll have lots of babies with natural childbirth."
New Life In Christ!
A month was spent in the hospital, but I left a different person than I had come in. From the moment I gave my life to Christ, I felt clean and brand new inside. I would never be the same again. When people visited me in intensive care, I would ask them to sing me songs about Jesus. My priest, family, and friends all sang softly over me hymns and worship choruses that were popular in 1979. I asked to hear the Bible and seemed to have a hunger for the Word of God. Growing up, I had prayed prayers from a prayer book, but now I just talked to the Lord--all the time! I was always asking Him questions, pouring out my heart, and asking Him to bless others. I think that was the biggest change that occurred in the hospital--I was filled with love for other people. I wanted to give, bless, and encourage everyone around me. Sometimes, God would reveal things to me about my nurses.
One of my favorite nurses walked in one day and I felt like the Lord was showing me that she and her boyfriend had just broken up. I asked her if that was true and she nodded affirmatively, bursting into tears. I prayed for her and asked my mother to pick up a rose for her in the gift store. That kind of scenario was not uncommon because I felt so close and incredibly close and connected to the Lord.
One of my favorite nurses walked in one day and I felt like the Lord was showing me that she and her boyfriend had just broken up. I asked her if that was true and she nodded affirmatively, bursting into tears. I prayed for her and asked my mother to pick up a rose for her in the gift store. That kind of scenario was not uncommon because I felt so close and incredibly close and connected to the Lord.
The Hospital and Back to School!
My pain did not subside for several years, it just lessened gradually. During my time in the hospital, I was careful to avoid too much pain medication because I did not want to get addicted. So, I asked the Lord to train me to "bear the pain" without complaining. It took awhile, but I learned to rest in Him for comfort. this proved to be a big help, years later when I had babies. I never had to take pain medication before or after giving birth. After my accident, I lay in a pelvic sling most of the day because my pelvis was shattered. This meant that my hips stayed 2 inches above the bed, making it hard to get comfortable and sleep. The month in the hospital was filled with poking, prodding, and all kinds of procedures.
One of the worst moments happened when the road burns on my ankles had begun to scab over. My plastic surgeon came in and ripped the two large scabs off each foot. I screamed in pain! My doctor explained that he had to rip the first scab away so that the ankles would heal properly. Wow! That was awful. So often, in the years that followed, it felt that emotional scars were being ripped away so that God could heal me completely. Sometimes, I felt like a pin cushion, but by the end of my hospital stay, I was learning to walk with a cane and a physical therapist helping.
The nurses became dear friends to me. I was truly blessed with love and kindness during that month. A wheelchair and cane accompanied me when I left the hospital to go home. I could walk short distances with a cane, but had to return to school in the wheelchair. That was a real challenge, especially going to the restroom. I remember sitting in my wheelchair that first week out of the hospital and wondering if there was any hope for me. I felt that I had destroyed my life completely by losing Jenny. Would there ever be anything for me? Doctors had told me that I could have children, but only by C-section, which meant a limited number of children. And I would just had to somehow survive the rest of my life, but it appeared bleak to me. And honestly, I wanted it that way because I was devastated about Jenny's death.
Suddenly, my "great wisdom" seemed unable to help and I turned to the God revealed in the Bible for truth, counsel, and help. I carried a Bible with me wherever I went and set my heart to learn from Him. Over the next two years, all my weird beliefs about God were washed away and His Truth became my personal conviction and delight. I would sneak out of class at school to read the Bible. It was like an addiction in those early years. Even though I continued to struggle with guilt and sorrow over Jenny's death, I was filled with JOY at the same time. I remember turning every song I knew from the radio into a love song for Jesus. I sang Him songs day and night.
One of the worst moments happened when the road burns on my ankles had begun to scab over. My plastic surgeon came in and ripped the two large scabs off each foot. I screamed in pain! My doctor explained that he had to rip the first scab away so that the ankles would heal properly. Wow! That was awful. So often, in the years that followed, it felt that emotional scars were being ripped away so that God could heal me completely. Sometimes, I felt like a pin cushion, but by the end of my hospital stay, I was learning to walk with a cane and a physical therapist helping.
The nurses became dear friends to me. I was truly blessed with love and kindness during that month. A wheelchair and cane accompanied me when I left the hospital to go home. I could walk short distances with a cane, but had to return to school in the wheelchair. That was a real challenge, especially going to the restroom. I remember sitting in my wheelchair that first week out of the hospital and wondering if there was any hope for me. I felt that I had destroyed my life completely by losing Jenny. Would there ever be anything for me? Doctors had told me that I could have children, but only by C-section, which meant a limited number of children. And I would just had to somehow survive the rest of my life, but it appeared bleak to me. And honestly, I wanted it that way because I was devastated about Jenny's death.
Suddenly, my "great wisdom" seemed unable to help and I turned to the God revealed in the Bible for truth, counsel, and help. I carried a Bible with me wherever I went and set my heart to learn from Him. Over the next two years, all my weird beliefs about God were washed away and His Truth became my personal conviction and delight. I would sneak out of class at school to read the Bible. It was like an addiction in those early years. Even though I continued to struggle with guilt and sorrow over Jenny's death, I was filled with JOY at the same time. I remember turning every song I knew from the radio into a love song for Jesus. I sang Him songs day and night.
Off to College!
By the time my senior year started, I was back on the drill team, running, and playing tennis. But my heart would take a lifetime to heal. The Lord would have to do a deeper work to help me to live with the pain and guilt. This did not stop me from wanting everyone in my high school to know and love Jesus too. I read the Bible to my friends, shared my testimony with them, and invited them to church. By now, I was attending my Episcopal church on Sunday mornings and a Nazarene church on Sunday night. There was so much love in my heart for my friends. Even today, I still pray for my high school friends to get save and know Jesus too.
At this time (late 1970's, early 1980's), there was still a revival going on across the nations where ex-hippies were giving their lives to Christ. I attended Jesus 1980 in Orlando with some Christian friends and heard Larry Tomzcak and other well-know Christian pastors and singers. There was excitement in the air among God's people, a desire to make Christ known.
In college, I attended Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship where I learned to share my faith clearly and defend the Gospel. Josh McDowell spoke at the University of Delaware, where I was going to college, stirring up a hunger in my heart for apologetics. I read all of his books and dug into controversial subjects like Creation vs. Evolution. Reading Darwin's Origin of Species convinced me that evolution did not make logical sense, but there were few books out about creation as a science. This was an important issue because the bachelor's degree in nursing I was pursing required 2 sciences with labs each semester. I was bombarded with evolution, atheism, and New Age philosophy. Still, I pursued God with all my heart and soul.
At this time (late 1970's, early 1980's), there was still a revival going on across the nations where ex-hippies were giving their lives to Christ. I attended Jesus 1980 in Orlando with some Christian friends and heard Larry Tomzcak and other well-know Christian pastors and singers. There was excitement in the air among God's people, a desire to make Christ known.
In college, I attended Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship where I learned to share my faith clearly and defend the Gospel. Josh McDowell spoke at the University of Delaware, where I was going to college, stirring up a hunger in my heart for apologetics. I read all of his books and dug into controversial subjects like Creation vs. Evolution. Reading Darwin's Origin of Species convinced me that evolution did not make logical sense, but there were few books out about creation as a science. This was an important issue because the bachelor's degree in nursing I was pursing required 2 sciences with labs each semester. I was bombarded with evolution, atheism, and New Age philosophy. Still, I pursued God with all my heart and soul.
Learning to Make Disciples!
Two wonderful things I learned about from being involved with Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship were Inductive Bible Studies and Mentoring/Discipling. This would change the course of my life. I attended inductive Bible studies every week during my college years and soon was leading my own Bible studies. The daughter of an old college friend of my mom's and a fellow member of Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship discipled me my freshman year. Beth encouraged me to disciple someone the next year, which I did, loving it!
My sophomore year of college I studied I Thessalonians for several months, falling in love with Paul's ministry in Thessalonica and longed to imitate it. I also read The Master Plan of Evangelism by Robert E. Coleman which helped to set the course of my ministry, homeschooling, and mothering for the rest of my life. The summer after my sophomore year in college I wrote 2 Bible study workbooks, Godly Womanhood and A Wise Woman Builds for the college women I was discipling. Years later I would adapt and add to them for my own daughters and other ladies I was discipling.
My sophomore year of college I studied I Thessalonians for several months, falling in love with Paul's ministry in Thessalonica and longed to imitate it. I also read The Master Plan of Evangelism by Robert E. Coleman which helped to set the course of my ministry, homeschooling, and mothering for the rest of my life. The summer after my sophomore year in college I wrote 2 Bible study workbooks, Godly Womanhood and A Wise Woman Builds for the college women I was discipling. Years later I would adapt and add to them for my own daughters and other ladies I was discipling.
More Healing
There was more healing to come. When I was pregnant with my first child, I began to experience pain in my hip. The elders of our church anointed me with oil and prayed over me, according to James 5:14. The pain went away the next day and I gave birth a few months later to a healthy baby girl. I gave birth naturally with no medication. Another miracle from God!
Emotional healing was next on the agenda. The pain of Jenny's death still lingers today. God is still healing my heart from the pain of losing Jenny and I daily cling to His grace.
Emotional healing was next on the agenda. The pain of Jenny's death still lingers today. God is still healing my heart from the pain of losing Jenny and I daily cling to His grace.
The Purpose of My Life
The purpose of my life is to honor & love Christ while loving people & making disciples. My beloved husband & children are first of all, brothers & sisters in the Lord. I want to build them up so they are a delight to Jesus. I am also in a spiritual battle for the lives and hearts of men and women. Kicking in the gates of hell, I want to rescue captives.
For those people in my life who don't know Jesus yet, I want to live a life that makes the Gospel attractive and share the Good News about Operation Rescue, Christ's plan to rescue His lost world.
I love to read, study, and teach the Word of God. It is my privilege to impart truth to my brothers and sisters in Christ with my words and example. Worshiping Jesus and leading others in worship fills my heart with delight. God's zeal and energy fills me, as I cry out to Him in prayer for the souls of loved ones. In this way, I make disciples and fulfill the Great Commission.
For those people in my life who don't know Jesus yet, I want to live a life that makes the Gospel attractive and share the Good News about Operation Rescue, Christ's plan to rescue His lost world.
I love to read, study, and teach the Word of God. It is my privilege to impart truth to my brothers and sisters in Christ with my words and example. Worshiping Jesus and leading others in worship fills my heart with delight. God's zeal and energy fills me, as I cry out to Him in prayer for the souls of loved ones. In this way, I make disciples and fulfill the Great Commission.
The End of the Story
The great thing about belonging to Jesus is that there is NO end to the story. We will live forever with Him, enjoying His Presence and being amazed by His grace. You can learn more about what God has done and is doing in my life in other places like:
Mike & Meredith: Our Love Story
My Homeschooling Journey
Mike & Meredith: Our Love Story
My Homeschooling Journey
